Returning the Stones: Captain America's Odyssey through Time and Space
by SJS3000
Summary: After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Captain America has one last mission: returning the Infinity Stones. But he also carries a secret mission: deciding which time to return to. How does Cap make his most fateful decision? This is his odyssey.
1. Avengers Headquarters

"You know, if you want I can come with you."

"You're a good man, Sam. This one's on me."

Of course Sam would offer. And of course he means it. He would mean it if even more if he knew what Steve is thinking. Steve isn't even completely sure he knows what he's thinking. He's just so tired. Of drifting. From mission to mission. Hoping to fill something that he knows he will never fill. He has tried for so many years to accept the life of the nomad, even after he was taken off the world's Most Wanted List. The years between Thanos's snap and the – _who knows what name they'll give for everyone coming back_ – actually gave Steve a reason for his emptiness. But now with everything restored, what's his excuse? Why does he feel so empty?

He's tired of asking himself. He's tired of chasing a new mission. Now there is only one type of chase on his mind. Actually, there are two. The chase to find the only woman he's ever loved. (Or thinks he's ever loved. That's one thought he'll never acknowledge to himself). And the chase to find out if that chase is even possible.

Bucky knows. Because of course he knows. Steve hasn't said anything. But of course. Still, Steve puts on his best face and does what he and Bucky do best: call-backs.

"Don't do anything stupid till I get back."

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

Yeah, Bucky knows.

Could Steve really walk away from this? After having watched his best friend die, then gotten him back, then watch him turn into dust, then miraculously gotten him back again – could he now walk away and never come back?

_This is ridiculous. This is stupid. This is selfish and irresponsible. Let's be real – this is impossible. _The Avengers' trips through time stretched credulity already, but actually _staying_ back in time? Who knows what effects that could cause?

There was one person who likely would've known, but he – he's not here anymore. He died, as Steve wishes he had and as he honestly believed he would. As Thanos's forces appeared before him, he felt no fear. He dreaded what this meant for Earth, for the universe, but he had no fear about his own fate. He was destined to die on a battlefield.

But he didn't. Instead, Sam spoke to him from the abyss and told him to look on his left. (Sam also loves call-backs.) Then the Wakandans walked through the mystical circle. Then Sam. The Guardians. Spider-man. Dr. Strange. Then a whole army. A galactic army of Avengers. And this time they did it. They defeated Thanos and saved the universe.

Well, not they – _he_. _They_ fought Thanos's forces, and did a damn good job doing it, but only one man defeated Thanos. And he's gone. The one man who made Steve feel inferior. The one man Steve always thought he had pegged but then would surprise him like no other. The man who not once but twice was ready to give his life to save the world. The man who nearly destroyed the world when he tried to build a suit of armor to protect it. The man who built a life for himself when the rest of the Avengers didn't know how to move on. (To be fair, Bruce did too. Though Steve's never thought to ask how he and Betty … worked that out.) And he was the one who gave up that life on the battlefield.

If Tony Stark could do all that, if Iron Man was the hero the universe needed, what was the point of Captain America?

Steve considered asking Dr. Strange about his impossible plan, but he couldn't bring himself to voice the thought, not with all they had been through. Plus, the two times he tried talking with Strange were, well, strange. (Convenient naming.) So as he steps on the quantum time machine, Steve heads towards the one other person who_ maybe_ can answer his question.

**Author's Note: This is my first-ever fan fic story, so I hope you all like it and stay tuned. As you can see, I do a very slight retcon by having Betty Ross survive the Snap. Otherwise, I expect to stay completely true to universe as established in the MCU. I look forward to any comments and feedback. This should be fun!**


	2. New York Sanctum

Steve arrives at Bleecker Street wearing the Captain America uniform designed for him by Agent Coulson. He feels kinda ridiculous in such an ostentatious outfit, but he has to admit, this suit makes his ass look great. (_Suck it, Stark_.)

On the roof of the New York Sanctum, the Ancient One looks upon the destruction of the alien invasion, saved by this newly formed band of improbable heroes. She had done her small part, but the victory belongs to them, and she is glad not to share the spotlight. She of course already knows the Avengers are destined for great things, but she didn't expect them to come knocking on her door and demanding she give up the Time Stone. And she especially never expected that she would actually say yes.

_Was it the right decision?_ She quickly dismisses the thought. _What's the point in wondering? I did it. _ Now she will have to accept the consequences whatever they may be.

Thankfully, she doesn't have to wonder that long.

From her perspective, it was less than ten minutes, but she knows too much about the ways of time to measure it in such a facile way. She is nevertheless surprised to see it is Captain America who arrives on her rooftop. His outfit looks even sillier up close, but she has to admit … look, she's the Sorcerer Supreme, not a zombie.

"Captain America – though not the one of this time, I presume? Otherwise, I would expect you to be preparing for the parade you so rightfully earned today."

"Yes, ma'am. That is, yes about not of this time." _Now that she mentioned it, did we ever get a parade? Never mind – focus._ "I just arrived from 2023 to return the Time Stone to you as promised."

Steve hands her the stone, which floats mystically between his thumb and forefinger. The feeling is so strange to him, but it is clearly second-nature to the Ancient One. As she takes it, her sense of relief is palpable.

"Well, I cannot tell you how heartened and relieved I am to see you, though I was assuming it would be Bruce returning the stone. Did he …?"

"No, Bruce is fine." Well, not completely fine, but there's no need to go through all that. "We just thought it best to have one person return the all the stones, and I drew the short straw."

"Ah, I see. Ever the dutiful soldier." She then pauses as she sees that her comment struck a nerve. She continues, "But I can tell you did suffer significant losses. I won't ask who, I know too much already."

And she didn't want to ask if Stephen Strange was among them. She already found it curious (and worrisome) that it was not Dr. Strange but Bruce Banner who came to retrieve the Time Stone, and now it was Captain America returning it. Why not Strange in either case? Surely, the Master of Time would have been a wiser pick.

She avoids that question – _whatever happened has happened_ – but speaking of Dr. Strange: "I am heartened to see my faith in Stephen Strange was not for naught. I admit I was not completely confident you all would succeed. And had you not, it would've not only been the end of your timeline but this one as well."

Her statement catches Steve by surprise. "Why both?"

"Losing any of the Infinity Stones would leave our whole universal realm vulnerable to all kinds of dangers."

"But Thanos destroyed all the Stones in my time, and nothing came of it. At least, that I know of."

"Really?!" Now it's the Ancient One's turn to be surprised. This is the strongest emotion Steve has seen from her thus far.

It takes a few moments for the shock to wear off and turn to contemplation. After a few more moments, she responds, "Then no wonder your mission succeeded. Thanos sealed his own fate by destroying the Stones. Had he kept them, he could have defeated you all. By destroying them, he turned the universe against him."

They both stand there in silence, the wreckage of New York smoldering around them. This too was from Thanos, though Steve didn't know that at the time. Indeed, without knowing it, Steve spent the past decade battling Thanos. They lucked out the first time – thanks to Tony. Sure, Steve was the one calling the plays on the ground, and that was critical to their moment-by-moment survival. But how long could they have lasted? No, it was Iron Man who saved the day, saved them all. That and the horrific impatience of SHIELD, or HYDRA – _whatever._ But Tony made the difference. When Thanos and Loki were about to put the Earth under their thumbs, when HYDRA was ready to obliterate New York, Tony Stark – Iron Man – thwarted them all. And Captain America – Steve Rogers – just watched it all from the street below.

The Ancient One finally breaks the silence. "Where are you going next?"

Steve comes back. "To Stark Tower to return the Mind Stone." It was a real pain getting that stone back into Loki's scepter. "Then to 1970 to my old base, Camp Lehigh, to return the Tessaract. Then to Asgard to return the Aether, and to Morag to return the Power Stone. And then finally to Vormir … to return the Soul Stone." He is really dreading that trip to Vormir based on everything Nebula and Clint have told him. And because of what was lost there.

"And then …" He pauses for a second._ And then?_ " … home."

The Ancient One gives him the slightest frown and asks, "When?"

"I'm heading over to Stark Tower as soon as we're done here."

The Ancient One's slight frown turns into the slightest smile. "No. When home?"

Steve is confused by the question, considering he just gave a pretty detailed exposition dump. "Like I said, as soon as I return all the Infinity Stones to their right—"

"No, Captain Rogers. When _is_ home?"

Steve is speechless. He wonders if she knew the whole time. Knew why this was his first stop, why he wanted to pull the the short straw. _You just can't outthink a wizard._ But really, this is the conversation he wanted to have with the Ancient One. In a way, he's relieved she opened the door, because he honestly didn't know if or how he would.

He finally responds, "I don't think I know how to answer that question." He pauses again and after a few more moments decides to walk through the door she opened.

"You mentioned different timelines? Is there a chance I could … choose?"

"Of course." The Ancient One is now somehow simultaneously giving the slightest frown _and_ the slightest smile.

"Captain, as you have surely seen by now, time is space. Time is place. How else could you be here right now? No matter your best efforts or what you may believe, the moment you stepped through time, you stepped into a new place – different from the one you originally experienced 11 years ago. The "you" you met the last time you came to this time couldn't be _you_, or you would have doubly experienced your own encounter, as both happening and as a memory."

_How did she even know about that "encounter"? Wizards …_

"Your entire mission would not be possible without multiple timelines. How those timelines come into existence is beyond what your science can explain or even what your limited language can articulate. The closest human science has ever come to truly understanding this reality was from a scientist of a different realm, a Professor Milton Glass, who after encountering a truly super being, recognized, 'Science, considered a traditional enemy of mysticism and religion, has taken on a growing understanding that the model of the universe suggested by quantum physics differs very little from the universe that Taoists and other mystics have existed in for centuries.' And even that only scratches the surface.

So can you 'choose,' as you put it? Yes. Should you? No matter what you may think of wizards, we are ultimately just people – mortal beings with limited insights and flawed moralities. We make compromises, and we justify those compromises, just as you will no matter what you decide. And like you, sometimes our dogma, our honor, or perhaps better said, our rigidity prevents us from seeing the fuller picture.

Does returning to a former time – a lost time – compromise your honor and principles? Perhaps. Is it a compromise you _should_ make? Honestly, why are you asking me? I barely know you.

Thank you for returning this, Captain. And I truly wish you the best on your travels, wherever they may take you."

With that, the Ancient One walks into the Sanctum to reflect on what has to be one of the most memorable days of her already extraordinary life. And for reasons she can't quite place, she is suddenly in the mood for shawarma.

**All (positive or constructive) comments are welcome! And please let me know if you know the Milton Glass reference.**


	3. Stark Tower

"_Are you shitting me?!"_

Secretary Alexander Pierce hates losing his temper, but this day has pushed him to his limits. He managed to stay calm and focused through an alien invasion. He kept his cool when he learned of the Council's idiotic decision to order a nuclear strike on New York City. _That lunatic Malick and his apocalyptic insanity! _He had to stomach that the city – and indeed the world – had been saved by, ugh, Tony Stark and Nick Fury's asinine _Avengers _project. _Why couldn't Nick see that Project Insight has so much more potential? _And then Stark's heart attack (which, given all he had been through today, was practically inevitable) allowed Loki to steal the Tessaract – _again!_

With all that happening in one single day, how could it possibly be that the worst part was _still to come_?!

With burning eyes, Pierce glares at Agent Jasper Sitwell, a true weasel of a man but typically a competent one. Now Pierce is questioning even that assessment. Still, he tries to regain his composure. He succeeds – barely.

"You are telling me that you gave Captain America Loki's scepter, which literally has the power to control people's minds, **and** that he knows about—" Pierce catches himself. The name is not to be spoken, at least not here.

Agent Sitwell knows he has no good excuse. He was just so taken aback by _Captain America _of all people saying "Hail Hydra" that he didn't know what else to do besides handing the scepter over. In retrospect, he should have just ordered the strike team to take Rogers down. It was 9 against 1, and they were in an elevator – Rogers wouldn't have stood a chance! Instead, he let Captain America walk away with Loki's scepter. Now there would be hell to pay.

Knowing better than to try to come up with a lame excuse, Sitwell summons the bit of courage he can muster and asks his boss, "What should we do now, Mr. Secretary?"

Pierce maintains his glare but decides chewing Sitwell out any further won't actually fix the problem. He needs his team – his _true _team – focused on the task at hand.

"Contact Colonel Voskian. Tell him to revive the Asset."

"Yes, sir." Sitwell picks up his phone and begins to make the necessary arrangements when a haggard Captain America walks into the lobby, holding Loki's scepter.

* * *

Cap knows so little about Vormir that he has no real plan for what he's going to do when he gets there. Given that, he has decided to give it very little thought. He'll arrive, assess, and improvise. The trip to Stark Tower is the exact opposite. He knows the situation he is entering, knows the delicate terrain he's walking on, so he's thoroughly thought out how he needs to act and what he needs to say.

Cap walks into the lobby breathlessly with a glassy but panicked look in his eyes. "Where's Thor? Tony? Where … Loki! Aliens are attacking! Colonel Phillips, what are my orders?!"

Pierce is shocked to see Captain America and has no idea what to make of the situation, but it's clear the Captain is not in his right mind. Pierce quickly assesses the scene and notes that there are no other Avengers around. He doesn't know where they went – likely in pursuit of Loki or trying to coax Dr. Banner out of the Hulk – but he's glad that finally something is going his way. He decides the best plan is to maintain his facade.

"Captain, Captain. I'm Secretary Alex Pierce. The battle is over, you saved the city. Please please, have a seat."

Pierce leads the bewildered soldier to an available seat. He considers relieving the Captain of the scepter right then, but since he's still not sure what is happening he decides to hold off … for now.

Cap's eyes seem to come into focus. "Secretary?"

"Yes, of SHIELD. Nick Fury reports to me."

"Nick … Fury. Yes. Yes." Suddenly, his eyes become wide again. "Fury, Loki's forces have attacked the ship. We're falling! The Hulk is on the loose!"

It's now clear to Pierce that today's battle has taken quite a toll on Fury's "Avengers". First Stark has a heart attack, now Captain America is having a total mental breakdown. While Pierce is greatly relieved by these developments, he reminds himself to stay in the moment.

"Captain Rogers, you are in Stark Tower in New York. You and the other (_suppress eye roll_) Avengers stopped the alien invasion. The battle is over … though in your absence Loki managed to escape."

Cap's eyes suddenly refocus. He was waiting for an opening, and Pierce finally gives him one.

"Loki. Yes. Yes, I remember now. He disguised himself as me. We fought, and … and he had the scepter. He tried to use it against me, but I got it from him." He gives a little smile. "I guess he was able to use it against me after all." He suddenly becomes more agitated again. "Where is he?!"

"We don't know, Captain. But clearly you defeated him. You are holding his scepter."

Cap looks at the scepter in his hand as though he didn't even realize he was holding it until now. Pierce does his best to not let his immense amount of relief show. _Of course_, he thinks. _That explains everything! Loki took the scepter, not this dimwitted soldier. How could this broken World War II relic know about HYDRA's survival? It all makes sense now._

Pierce looks up at Sitwell, who is near tears in relief. And with good reason. As things stood, Sitwell was unlikely to see tomorrow. Cap also looks up at Sitwell and the strike team lingering behind him, and now it's Cap's turn to do everything in his power to maintain his mask.

"Wha—what should I do with this?" he says as he looks at the scepter.

Both Sitwell and Rumlow step forward. Pierce makes clear with just a subtle glance that he prefers Rumlow take it. Sitwell steps back, realizing he's not fully off the hook.

"I can take that off your hands," Rumlow says with a gratified smirk. Cap is very thankful he practiced this multiple times in his head, or otherwise he would be knocking that smirk clear across the battle-torn city. Instead, Cap hands the scepter over with little fanfare. He then stands up, and Pierce immediately follows suit.

"I think – I think I'm good now," Cap says, still maintaining a weary, frazzled tone. "I will try and find the other Avengers and then a place to rest. I'm still feeling pretty hazy."

"Yes, of course," responds Pierce, suppressing his irritation that they are already referring to themselves as the Avengers. Something to deal with on another day.

Cap begins to walk away, feeling satisfied that his performance is sufficient to explain why his doppelganger will later have no memory of this discussion. Perhaps because he was feeling a bit too self-satisfied, Cap is caught off-guard by what he hears next. Often overlooked among Captain America's enhanced abilities is his super hearing. Though perhaps not as strong as other well-known superheroes, his hearing is still much greater than an average human being. So when Sitwell whispers into Pierce's ear, Cap hears it clear as day.

"Should I cancel the Asset?"

Without thinking, Cap turns and sharply responds, "Asset?!" He immediately regrets his outburst, but he knows exactly who they're talking about, and it sets him off. Thankfully, Pierce is so convinced by Cap's previous performance and so pleased by the fortuitous turn of events that he doesn't give any thought to the Captain's tone.

"Your—uh, I mean, Loki's retrieval of the scepter left us with certain … questions. We were about to call in … an expert who helps us deal with such matters." Pierce then gives Cap a bright smile. "But now that you've once again the saved the day, why would we need any additional help? Who but Captain America could be the arm of SHIELD?" He then grips Cap's broad shoulders in a proud, almost paternalistic way. The strike team all give each other side glances and smirks, clearly enjoying the subtle humiliation of Captain America after nearly being played by him.

_Scott was right_. _How did we not see that these are clearly bad guys?_

Pierce releases Cap's shoulders and returns to his more business-like demeanor. "Now Captain, if that is all, my job is never done. It may encourage you to know we are working on a project that will give us much better insight into situations like this. Once you are fully recovered, I would be glad to give you a more detailed briefing. And please give my regards to—" Pierce pauses nervously, since he honestly doesn't know what Captain America does with his days, and he's aware of former Director Carter's medical condition. "Well ... thank you for your service."

With that, relieved and confident that they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat, Pierce and his minions turn their backs to Cap and walk away. This proves to be for the best. Otherwise, without question they would have seen the absolute fury raging in Captain America's eyes.


	4. Camp Lehigh

Captain America arrives in the lower basement of Camp Lehigh's secret SHIELD facility, and the first thing he does is look for a bathroom. For two reasons. First, he needs to change out of this tight uniform. Coulson's lycra suit provides good flexibility for battle and breathes surprisingly well, but Cap never considered wearing this throughout his entire trip through time and space. He's sure Coulson meant well, but this outfit always reminded him of his old USO uniform — a costume for a trained monkey, a propaganda poster boy, a tool. Which is exactly how Pierce and his HYDRA strike team saw him.

"_The Arm of SHIELD!" That's what they wanted me to be. But unlike Bucky, I'm so dumb and loyal they don't even need to brainwash me. I'll just obey mindlessly and salute proudly._ Steve still couldn't stop shaking.

Which is the second reason he needs to find a bathroom: he needs to throw up.

Despite having never been in this particular basement, Cap has an almost instinctive sense of its layout, having been "born" on this very base. Thankfully, whoever built this new structure wasn't particularly original in their design, following the standard military protocol for such buildings. Cap finds a bathroom in less than two minutes, and five seconds later he's face deep in the toilet, hurling up mostly bile and the small bit of food he ate before he left.

After finishing his business he sits there, his head throbbing and his chest pounding. As he recovers, Cap has three intermingling thoughts running through his mind. He's angry that he let the HYDRA team get to him like this. He's Captain America. He defeated HYDRA—_twice!_ How could their taunts and snickering break him so? He's also thankful that there's no one around to hear Captain America vomit his guts out. He purposely timed his jump back to Lehigh to exactly thirty seconds after Tony and Howard Stark head upstairs to continue their … reunion, if one could call it that, allowing him to return the Tesseract undetected. He's therefore thankfully alone for this intestinal indignity.

And finally, he's wondering when he will have his next meal, now that most of his last one is swirling down the toilet. Things you forget to account for when planning for a reverse time heist.

Steve pulls himself up, rinses his mouth out, and changes out of his old uniform into a much more comfortable fitting blue button-down shirt, brown khaki pants, and a pair of rather stylish brown loafers. _I remembered to bring a change of clothes, but I didn't think to grab a few granola bars?_ He can't help but chuckle to himself, both out of self-deprecation and because he knows Nat would've never let him make such a mistake. Or more likely, she would've completely let him make such a mistake, brought a few granolas herself, and then only given him one after mocking him in front of the whole team.

Steve walks out of the bathroom, and again his instinctive sense of the building's layout guides him to where the Tesseract case would be. He quickly finds it and takes out the cosmic cube. It's a weird thing to hate an object, but Steve can't think of another single object that has caused him more pain. His dominant memory of that final flight in 1945 is talking with Peggy and mourning their lost first dance. But his next strongest memory is Red Skull holding the Tesseract, the power of the universe literally in his hand. And then that power burned Schmidt into oblivion, and then the small cube burned a hole through the ship and fell into its own oblivion. And here it now sits: in a bunker on a SHIELD/HYDRA base, waiting to unleash new weapons and open Earth to a galactic war.

Cap considers whether putting the Space Stone back is the best call after all. But what's the alternative? _Nope. Clip every branch. That's the mission. _Steve puts the Tesseract into the case, closes it up, and turns to leave.

And then their eyes meet. Their bodies are locked frozen in place, as their eyes only widen. Their dual expressions loudly shout their shared sense of shock and fear. After a few moments, the unexpected guest's flight instincts finally kick in, and he turns to flee, but his toddling retreat is no match for Captain America's superior reflexes. Cap grabs his fleeing prey, puts the man's head and neck into a tight sleeper hold, and then harshly jerks his squeezed bicep, crushing the trachea enveloped inside.

As Captain America feels the life go out of Armin Zola, he finally releases him, letting his empty shell flop dead before him.

Cap initially refuses to look down at his unexpected victim. Despite having spent half of his (waking) life as a soldier, he still hates the sight of death. But death is always part of the mission. He didn't think it would be part of _this _mission, but death is inescapable. And Captain America always takes on the mission, always completes the mission. But the mission rarely includes killing in cold blood – at least, any mission Captain America is assigned to. His moral rectitude is well-known – and well-mocked – so his assignments are usually restricted to some type of battlefield, where moral ambiguity does not abide. But here in a lonely bunker, against a defenseless old man … does Captain America kill in cold blood?

The answer is simple. No, of course he doesn't. And this is no exception. His blood is anything but cold. It's boiling hot, and that was the problem. When he saw Zola, he saw Red Skull, Pierce, Rumlow. He saw the room-sized computer that Zola would become, who nearly killed him. Or will try to kill him. Or would've tried to kill him, but now won't get the chance.

And that's why he did it. Cap finally looks down upon the corpse at his feet. Most notable are its eyes: grossly bulged out but still registering the utter of shock of seeing the long dead American superhero standing very much alive before him. Zola is much older than the scientist Cap knew 25 years prior, and his terminal cancer is already showing early signs of imminent victory. But now Captain America had stolen its glory, finished its mission. Cap briefly wonders whether Zola is already working on the massive computer that would've allowed him to cling on to some semblance of life for another 30+ years.

Which again reminds Cap why he killed this decrepit Nazi war criminal. Boiling blood was not the reason – well, not entirely – and Cap won't allow himself such an easy out. Killing Zola was a choice, and he made it. He made it, because he saw all the faces of HYDRA flash before his eyes. And then he saw the face of his friend, and he did what his friend would've done. His friend who was taken away and turned into a mindless murderer without choice. His friend who had always stood by him, even as he was on the brink of losing hope. His friend who was with him to the end of the line.

Killing Zola is what Nat would've done. And despite how stunned and terrible he still feels, Cap can't help but smile a little. He long ago accepted that the Steve Rogers who went into the ice is not the one who came out nearly 70 years later. But he has spent so much time trying to learn who that new man is. Well, if that man is anything like Natasha Romanoff, then Steve Rogers will have no problem looking at him in the mirror tomorrow. Or whatever time he's going to next.

So now, Steve Rogers is left to ask himself: _What would Natasha Romanoff do next?_

* * *

The next day, a security guard finds the corpse of Dr. Armin Zola, wrapped in what looks to be a high-quality spandex version of a Captain America costume. There is a note in Zola's lifeless hand. It contains one line.

"Another head has been cut off."


	5. The Royal Palace of Asgard

Frigga looks out over Asgard – the Aether receptacle in one hand, Mjolnir in the other. Oh yes, she can wield Mjolnir. Do you think just anyone becomes Queen of Asgard?

The Captain had also been surprised by her unexpected "worthiness". Their recent conversation is still echoing in Frigga's mind as she looks out over her realm. But her mind is occupied by a heavier revelation.

_This is the day I die_. Her son's future self had told her as much, if not fully in words. But often what is not said can speak as loudly as what is.

Moreover, as much as she knew Thor loved her, her death could not have caused the devastation she saw in her once mighty son. Something much more cataclysmic was responsible for that. And it was there that Thor's unspoken words cried loudest.

From what Thor told her, his Midgardian companions were clearly present during his final confrontation with Thanos, but he made no mention of his Asgardian compatriots. He said Thanos was able to gain possession of all the Infinity Stones, but said nothing of how Thanos defeated Asgard's legions to break into Odin's vault and take hold of the Tesseract. _If Thanos had attacked Asgard_, she reasoned,_ either Thanos or Thor would have died on that battlefield – there is no other possible outcome_. Thor spoke of none of these things, and it was painfully apparent why: none of them happened. There could be only one reason for that, and it was that revelation that weighed heaviest on Frigga.

_Ragnarok. _

She couldn't be sure how it arrived, but one thing she is certain of: it all begins with her death today. That may sound prideful. One death triggering the entire destruction of Asgard? Frigga has long carried herself with an air of spousal humility and maternal modesty, so for her to believe that she would be so pivotal to Asgard's survival may seem out of character or even off-putting. But only a select few understand the most significant role Frigga has held for over two thousand years. She is the Rock of Asgard.

Imagining the onset of Ragnarok, she runs a whole chain of events through her head: _My death breaks Odin, who no longer has the strength to contain Hela. Hela's wrath destroys Asgard, though somehow Thor survives it. Maybe his sister cannot defeat him so she imprisons him, as her father had done to her, and he somehow escapes. Maybe Thor is off-world in Midgard or the Nine Realms when Asgard finally collapses. As for Loki, he may have fallen … or sided with Hela. _Frigga knows her youngest son too well to rule out the latter. She can't be sure what happens next, but she is certain in her bones that in the future Thor returned from, her world is no more. And her death today sets Asgard's destiny on its final course.

The Captain ultimately confirmed her suspicions about Asgard's fate. When he came to return the Aether and Mjolnir, he could not contain his awe at seeing Thor's legendary homeworld. Human tales could not do it justice. As he gazed across Asgard's magnificent landscape, Frigga took the opportunity to verify what she already knew to be true.

"I'm sure Thor misses this place very much."

"Yes, though he rarely spea—" The Captain caught himself, but it was too late. "Thor told you?"

"No. But a mother knows. A queen knows."

* * *

A queen. **The** queen. Only destiny knew this would be her fate. Certainly not her father, who left her mother after she gave birth to her fourth daughter and no sons. Nor her mother, who could not raise four children alone and saw her newest one as an undeserved blight. But while begging on the street and staying away from home to avoid her mother's daily wrath, the three-year old Frigga met a coven of woodswomen, who immediately recognized that destiny had marked this emaciated child for something special. Her mother needed little convincing to let Frigga go, but she wept nonetheless as her youngest daughter left her home forever. Frigga cherished this memory, so that her heart would feel something beyond bitterness towards her birth family.

The woodswomen raised her and taught her the ways of the witch and the warrior. Frigga couldn't exactly say they loved her, but they were devoted to her. They held her at a awed distance, knowing destiny had greatness in store for her. Only when she became a mother herself and lost her second child did Frigga understand that their distance was a choice born of wisdom. The women knew destiny would take their adopted child away at an unannounced time, and they needed to be ready.

And destiny duly arrived in the form of Asgardian soldiers. They came to the forest villages of Ria to draft healers for Odin's palace, and Frigga's caretakers understood this was the moment they had to let their daughter go. They volunteered Frigga before the soldiers made it too clear that leaving without volunteers wasn't really an option. There were no hugs or tears. Just a bag fully packed for everything Frigga would need.

When Frigga arrived at Asgard's royal palace, she found that her new homeland needed more than physical healing. Unbeknownst to the Nine Realms, Asgard had been severely shattered by Hela's rebellion. The Valkyrie had been decimated, and Odin himself had barely survived. The search for healers was a desperation mission, and destiny had truly prepared Frigga for this moment. Still, a Rian forest peasant was not fit to serve the High King. She was initially assigned to care for the needs of common Asgardians who were caught in the crossfire of Hela's rage. Yet, Frigga's healing powers became almost instantaneously legendary, and within months she was brought to the battered king.

Frigga could not fault those who accused her of bewitching the king. She's not altogether sure she didn't. But if she did, her bewitching powers were not restricted to him. All of Asgard fell in love with the Forest Witch of Ria. That moniker is now only known to the oldest generations. To all others she is and has always been the High Queen of Asgard. It was she who changed Odin's image from brutal conqueror to benevolent Allfather, and Asgard's image from imperial capital to the epicenter of civilization. As Frigga recounts these memories, her eyes drift up to the ceiling murals she commissioned, hiding away the bloodstained history that she was determined to expunge. (What she chooses not to recount are the few members of the Asgardian elite who opposed her marriage to Odin. They too were neatly expunged. Ruthless is another word not often associated with Frigga but accurate nonetheless.)

Her final victory came with the birth of Asgard's new heir: Thor. Odin could not have been more ecstatic and proud about the strapping son who would succeed him as king. But Odin was also surprisingly gentle and comforting following the tragic loss of their second son, Balder, soon after birth. And it was in part to salve that wound that Odin and Frigga decided to adopt the abandoned Frostchild, Loki.

And now, all that destiny had given her was about to be taken away.

* * *

Frigga had so long been the Rock that it had been ages since anyone had seen any crack in her. However, the Captain was also someone of both immense strength and deep pain, so he was able to see through her regal mask. Frigga could see why both her sons respected him so. Loki of course would never openly acknowledge such a thing, but as the ancient saying goes, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Frigga had already observed that of Thor's Midgardian companions, the Captain is Loki's favorite to mock. This is in part because self-seriousness always draws Loki's ire – something he shares with his mother – and the Captain's rigidity was hard to miss. But the Captain's intrinsic decency was even more evident. How else could this mortal wield Thor's hammer? And honestly, as much as she deeply loved her people, Frigga saw firsthand that such decency is often in short supply on Asgard. Loki would have been beside himself trying to understand this inscrutable morality and determined to upend it.

Frigga was therefore somewhat familiar with the Captain when he arrived mere minutes after her son and his pet rabbit had departed. Her curiosity about this Midgardian was further piqued by his ability to wield Mjolnir. Seeking to distract from her own pain, she decided to interrogate him a bit.

"Are you immortal, Captain?" Cap was taken aback by her question, showing once again Frigga's ability to command a room. "Your ability to carry my son's hammer is astonishing, particularly for a Midgar—oh, excuse me, for a human. Also, if I am not mistaken, you are quite aged and yet abnormally fit for a human."

The Captain could not help but be flattered. He had become accustomed to admiration, but rarely does one receive it from a demi-god. Still, her words also reinforced his feeling of disconnection from his own people.

"No, your Highness, I am mortal. At least, I assume so." Her question did make him wonder whether he could in fact be immortal. It would explain his survival for decades encased in frozen waters after withstanding a terrible plane crash. But immortal? Ultimately, only time could answer that question.

Frigga continued, "I wonder: Do you wish for death?"

Cap hesitated before answering. "I wish for peace." Frigga was moved by his answer, for how could anyone not long for peace? _Well, Hela_ …

"Let me tell you, Captain, as someone who has an appointment with death quite soon, there are much more desirable ways of finding peace." Cap looked down, so as to not have to look into the eyes of the stalwart queen before him.

"Given our long lives and many feats, Asgardians have two values strongly instilled in us: responsibility and revelry." Cap looked up again to listen to her more intently. "We have not always handled either well, but we hold both in high regard. It is clear you have mastered the former, better than many of the stoutest warriors I have known. I am glad my son can call you his friend. But the latter … I adjure you, Captain, live. Live. Live with fullness and gladness and joy. Whatever lies ahead for me, I can say I have known all these things. Now you must as well. Do not let the burdens of responsibility shield you from revelry. If I may say, it is time for you to put down your shields – both of them – and live."

As tears streamed down their faces, the two soon after parted ways. Now, overlooking her queendom, Frigga waits for her final destiny. There are no longer tears in her eyes. Just ice and steel. And with those eyes, she looks at the Aether receptacle in one hand and Mjolnir in the other. She releases Mjolnir off the balcony, and before it drops even ten feet it flies off into the distance, to the waiting hand of her unbroken son.

And the Aether receptacle – she stabs it straight into her heart. Her eyes go from ice to blackness to fire. A fire ready to burn down the door destiny was prepared to close. She is genuinely thankful for how destiny has guided her life. But Frigga has decided, she can take it from here.

As her formidable body absorbs the Aether that nearly consumed her son's mortal consort, the Forest Witch of Ria uses its power to see through the great distance to the Dark Elves, who are making their approach to destroy her home and take her life.

_I'm waiting. Come at me, you sons of bitches._


	6. Morag

Is it possible for a mission to simultaneously be a complete success _and_ a total failure?

Captain America is plagued by this thought as he arrives on the desolate planet of Morag. He's "clipping every branch" – successfully returning every stone – yet with each trip new branches are springing forth. He killed Arnim Zola (_Armin? Arnim?_ _whatever_) in 1970, a decision he hasn't fully reckoned with, quippy notes notwithstanding, and who knows what effect that will have on the development of SHIELD/HYDRA. Frigga knows she is about to die, and from what Cap could tell, she is not a woman ready to go gently into that good night. (Fun fact: Captain America loves 1950's beat poetry.) And even during their original time heist, Loki escaped with the Tesseract. With all the things on their plate, the Avengers didn't even consider trying to track down the Trickster God. He'll make himself known if and when he chooses. Plus, Cap could tell that knowing Loki got away in some other timeline gave Thor some much needed joy.

But of all the timelines, this one is by far the worst of all. This branch-clipping mission failed before it even started. All of Thanos's forces left this timeline and were wiped out in Cap's time. Cap couldn't come close to feeling bad about that – except for what was sacrificed to achieve that victory – but who knows the effects of the disappearance of Thanos's entire world-conquering army!

This all left Cap with one big question: _Does returning the Power Stone – or any stone – make any real difference?_

And his answer is the same as when he considered not returning the Tesseract: _What's the alternative?_ He may no longer be the Captain who mindlessly follows orders, but he doesn't go rogue for no reason. Plus, from what the Ancient One told Bruce, each Stone must be returned for the sake of the universe, regardless of any mishaps on the way.

Cap's mind is set once again: _Stray from the plan if necessary – or if the plan itself is fubar – but otherwise finish the mission._

And his mission here is find the likely still-unconscious Peter Quill and give him the Power Stone. Over the years, getting to know Rocket and Nebula, he learned a lot about the Guardians of the Galaxy. Rocket kept up a thick wall of never-ending sarcasm, but he loved to talk about his family. It was the only way to keep part of them alive. (That is, unless you develop a quantum time machine, commit a series of time heists to collect reality-altering cosmic stones, and bring half of existing life back from oblivion. But other than that, remembering is your best shot.) Nebula never said that much … ever … but her pain was more obvious. So when Cap finally met Peter, he already knew a good deal about him: part-human, part-god; goes by Star-Lord; kidnapped from Earth as a child; mom died of brain cancer caused by his planet-god-dad (despite all he'd been through, that was a new one for Cap); brave and foolhardy; amazing pilot; sort of a goofball who's obsessed with Earth music; in love with Thanos's daughter, Gamora.

That last one stung. Gamora also disappeared into 2023, and while she wasn't snapped away with the rest of Thanos's "children," she won't be here to fall in love with Quill. Cap could tell this thought was on Peter's mind when they spoke about his trip here. Cap made sure to do proper recon with Quill before traveling alone to an unknown planet, and Quill was extremely helpful, but his heart was clearly elsewhere. Cap couldn't blame him at all. You lose your true love, you're snapped from existence for five years, you reappear only to have to fight in the most important battle of all of history, and then you reconnect with your lost love only for her to not know who you are and run away. That's a lot for anyone to take, though with all Quill had been through, he's made of pretty tough stuff_._ Still, Cap wonders what will become of this timeline's Quill. He knows Quill has yet to meet any of the people who will become his surrogate family, and given the death of all Thanos's forces and Gamora's time travel into the future, this Quill will never form that full family.

_Why are heroes doomed to die or live alone?_ No matter where among the many galaxies, heroes never have standard families. And when they finally cobble one together, they're taken away.

Cap's mind is about to go over the edge when he hears shouting. He immediately refocuses and once again tables his emotional breakdown for a different day. Right now, Captain America is on mission.

* * *

"For the last time, where is the orb?!" Korath shouts at a barely conscious Peter Quill, who is being held up by two of his henchmen. For good measure, one of them punches Quill in the stomach.

"I told you … I don't know." Quill can barely get the words out. "Someone sucker punched me while I was – " _Hmmm, listening to Redbone will definitely mean nothing to these guys_. " – while I was looking for it. Look at my eye! I can feel how swollen it is."

Korath looks at his face and can in fact tell that someone had clearly punched him very hard in the face and quite recently. Still, if this Ravager is looking for the orb too, then he's a liability. Korath is about to fire his fatal shot when he is knocked out by an unseen object, which bounces from his head to the two mooks holding Peter, to back to its thrower. Peter is still in a daze, but he immediately recognizes the red, silver, and blue disc on the stranger's forearm.

"Is that … Capta—"

His mystery savior cuts him off. "No time. Where's your ship?"

Peter gets a much needed adrenalin boost, which clears his mind for the moment. "It's over that ridge."

"Then let's move."

They start running as the Kree beginning coming to, and Cap does everything in his power not to outrun the battered Quill. Peter then remembers he has booster rocket boots on.

"Hey!" Peter shouts to Cap. "Grab on!"

Cap grabs on to Peter, and they rocket over the ridge and towards another set of mooks guarding _The Milano, _Peter's ship. Quill takes them out with a pair of blasters, and right as they board the ship, Quill points his blasters at Cap.

"I'm not letting you on my ship until I get some answers. First off, who are you? And second, are you the one who knocked me out?"

"I promise I'll explain, but for now," Cap points towards Korath and his remaining mooks heading towards them, "can we hold off on the discussion?"

Quill hesitates but decides the stranger is right. He puts his blaster down, and they get on board. Quill takes the helm, while Cap straps in behind him. As Quill takes off, Cap thinks of his trip in _The Benatar_ to Thanos's private Garden of Eden. The trip there Cap was racked by stomach-wrenching anticipation. The trip back he felt the weight of stomach-punching failure. He then thinks about the press conference they held when they got back to Earth and having to explain all that happened: the Stones, the invasion, the snap, and Thanos's pointless execution. Cap is actually relieved when Quill starts questioning him again.

"OK, we're clear of Morag and on autopilot. So talk! Who are you? Are you who I think you are?"

"I'm not sure who you think I am, but my name's Steve."

"As in Steve Rogers?! Captain America?! Oh my God, is that what happened – you were taken away to space?! Like Elvis?!"

_Elvis?_, Steve thinks. _Oh yeah. 50's poetry was great, but the music – eh, not so much. Now Marvin Gaye, Sam was right on about him._

"No, no. I crashed landed in ice in the Arctic in 1945 and was frozen until I was revived in 2012. But I traveled here from the year 2023."

"Wait, wait. You're from the future. Like … how? Why?"

"There's a lot to explain, but I don't think I'm the one to do it. Why don't you listen to someone more familiar?"

Cap goes into his metal briefcase, pulls out a Wakandan hologram device, and turns it on. And there appears Peter Quill.

"Hey Peter, it's me, Peter. Or rather, it's you, Peter." (If Peter had been on Earth in 1990, this would totally remind him of _Total Recall_.)

"And if he hasn't already told you, this is Captain America. I know, I still can't believe it either. Well, now I can, given all we've been through, but you don't know about that yet. Actually, you _never_ will know about that. And that's why I'm sending you this message. From this point on, our paths will diverge. The life I lived will no longer be the life you live. There's nothing I can do about that, but I still want you to have the family I had. Or at least most of it."

The past Quill is captivated but skeptical. But thankfully, talking to oneself has the advantage of easily anticipating one's own response.

"I know what you're thinking – obviously. 'Is this _really_ me?' So what's something only I would know, that would convince you I'm really you? Well … the last thing Mom said to me … to you … was, 'Take my hand.'"

Future Quill pauses, both to let his past self take it all in, and to give himself a moment. And past Peter is duly stunned by these words. Peter really didn't want to drop such a heavy bomb on himself, but he couldn't think of anything else that only he would've known. It's the only thing he's never told anyone else … at least up to that point. Peter would later tell one other person.

Future Quill starts up again. "OK, so believe me now? If not, I don't know what else I could say, but if I know me, I'm sure that was enough. So first the easy part. What you need to do now is exactly what you're already planning on doing: go to Xandar. But don't waste your time going to the Broker, that isn't going to work out. Instead, go to the fountain in the town square near the Broker's shop. There you will meet your new family."

And then to past Quill's surprise, a raccoon and walking tree appear on screen. And even more surprising, the tree introduces itself.

"I am Groot."

"And I'm Rocket. Yeah, I know this all must be crazy. And honestly, when you meet us – well first off, Groot's gonna be a lot bigger with a much deeper voice."

"I am Groot."

"No, I didn't say I liked you better that way, I'm just saying you'll look different. Stay focused."

"I am Groot."

"Anyway, we're gonna try to kidnap you, 'cuz Yondu's gonna put a bounty of you, 'cuz you betrayed him over the orb. Oh, and Rhodey's really sorry for knocking you out and taking it, and he hopes you're okay."

_Rhodey? Who? What?_ Rocket's still talking, so Peter doesn't have time to fully process that.

"You gotta fight us until the Nova Corps show up and arrest us. Let them arrest you. This is important for two reasons. First, you gotta make sure the Nova Corps get the orb. Tell them it contains the Power Stone – Nova Prime will know what it is – and that they need to keep it safe from Ronan. Second, you need to go to the Kyln prison. I know, that sounds awful, but I'll make a plan to break us all out. But we gotta go there, so we can find Drax and break him out too."

And with that, a man the size of a professional wrestler comes on screen.

"Hello, younger and much more handsome and fit Peter Quill. I am Drax. We will meet in prison. I am there because I kill people who make me angry. You will help fix me. It will not be easy, but you must convince me to come with you."

Future Quill jumps in again. "To help with that, Cap also has for you three additional holocrons—one for Rocket, one for Drax, and one more for you Peter. Show these to Rocket and Drax while you're in prison to convince them to stick with you, but only watch your second one once the bonds with your new family are strong. You will need them for what lies ahead, but do _not_ watch it before that. Though what fully lies ahead for you will be something I will never know. This is where our lives part. One without …"

Peter's eyes fill with tears, and he can't go on. Past Quill is truly taken aback, as the only thing that can make him even come close to crying is thinking about his mother. Groot puts his branch-arm around Quill and looks into the holocron and says, "I am Groot."

Rocket translates, "He said, 'Go get'em, Dads.' Guardians of the Galaxy out." And with that, the recording ends.

Quill stands there speechless for a while. He finally turns around to ask Cap something, but he's not there. He looks around the ship, but there's no sign of him. Instead, he finds a Krylorian woman, holding the orb and three Wakandan holocrons.

"Peter, your friend told me to give these to you, and then he disappeared."

Peter is annoyed by Cap's abrupt exit, but honestly, there probably wouldn't have been any good time for him to go. Peter would've asked him a ton of questions about his future, and if there's one thing he knew from _Back to the Future_, it's that no one should know too much about their own future.

"Thanks, uh … uh … "

"Bereet."

"Yes, Bereet. Yes. Thank you. So it looks like I'm on my way to Xandar to meet my new family."

Bereet gives him a confused look, and he can't blame her. It sounds pretty crazy to him, too. But seeing them, hearing them, he already felt a connection. A connection he's been without for so long. So long in fact that he thinks about the young woman in front of him. He was too grexed from the night before to remember how they met or what exactly happened between them, but he unexpectedly feels bad for how he likely treated her. Plus, he could tell from the words and tears of his future self that someone or something broke his heart pretty bad. Peter didn't think that was possible, since he didn't think falling in love was a possibility for him. And yet seeing his own tears, he strangely longed for the love that would create them. He's spent his whole life running from such pain, but now that he literally saw that pain on his own face, he feels the very odd desire to run towards it instead. And maybe that change starts today.

"Hey Bereet, would you like to come with me?"


	7. Vormir

Vormir. "A dominion of death at the very center of celestial existence." Nebula didn't say much, but when she spoke her words had power. And those words are seared in Cap's mind, as they would prove to be more apt than any of the Avengers expected.

Cap tried to do some recon about Vormir with Clint, but neither really wanted to discuss that place or what happened there. Cap wonders what will happen with Clint next, despite him getting his family back. Hawkeye is an Avenger—no question. They all agreed, even Rhodey, that they wouldn't talk with Clint about all he had done in the years since he lost his family. And Cap doubted any world governments would put that much work into arresting or prosecuting him. They would have enough on their hands reintegrating half the world's population back into society. Arresting one of the people who made that possible is unlikely to be at the top of their priority list. But still, all that blood doesn't wash off easily. It's under your fingertips. It's grafted on your skin. The smell is forever looming in your nostrils. The screams echo in your ears. The hate stains your mind. And then having to watch Nat give her life for the Stone and being able to do nothing about it …

Laura and the kids might have returned from the snap, but Clint Barton likely never will.

But even without a full briefing about Vormir, Clint told them all the most critical part: a floating, hooded spectre will appear, the only apparent inhabitant of a truly godforsaken place. Hopefully he will just take the stone back, and Cap can then hightail it out of there. At least Cap's hoping it's that easy. But if not … well ... Cap would just have to see. He came alone on this trip, so if anyone has to give their life to return the Soul Stone, there is only one candidate.

Steve hears Rocket's voice from the holocron, which he takes as his cue to leave. After his encounters with Pierce, Zola and Frigga, he wants to keep his time with Quill as short as possible. He takes the remaining holocrons out of the case and is about to place them on a table when he sees a half-dressed pink woman climbing out of a hatch.

"Who are you?" she asks. From the bloodshot look in her eyes and the slight slur in her speech, it is clear to Steve that drunken hookups and painful hangovers are universal pastimes.

"I'm a friend of Peter's. We had some business to take care of this morning, but now I need to run. Can you give these to him and tell him I said good-bye?" Steve hands her the holocrons before she has a real chance to answer.

"Uhh, what are thes—"

"Thanks." And with that, Cap turns away and disappears.

* * *

To Steve's surprise, Vormir is strangely beautiful. Its sky is a darkly glowing purple, and its skyline is dominated by a large, eclipsed sun hovering over the horizon. In its own way, Vormir is as awe-inspiring as Asgard. Steve had expected something like Morag, littered with decaying ruins of bygone civilizations. But if Vormir had any prior civilizations to speak of, they are truly bygone. The only evidence that Vormir may have been inhabited at some point is the single looming tower in the near distance. The home of the spectre. The home of the Soul Stone.

Despite all he had been through, Steve still doesn't really understand what the Infinity Stones are. He's heard the spiel enough times – the newly formed universe exploded, it created stones that held singularities … or are singularities or … this is where Steve typically loses track. From his perspective Thor said it best: the Stones are space magic. He can hear Tony now: "Magic is science too advanced to be understood_._" Still, Cap understood the main gist: six stones older than existence hold incredible specialized powers. The Time Stone manipulates time. The Mind Stone controls people's minds and allows you to turn them into your own flying monkeys. The Tesseract or Space Stone allows someone to travel through space in a moment, even across galaxies and universes. The Reality Stone allows you to control the very world you see and experience. The Power Stone gives you immense power – without it Thanos couldn't have defeated Danvers. But the Soul Stone? Neither Strange nor Thor nor the Guardians had any intel on its powers, just that it was the most mysterious of the stones and therefore considered the most powerful and dangerous. And the fact that you had to sacrifice a life to take hold of it only validated such beliefs.

Given all that, he could see why the Stone would make Vormir its home. _This truly is a dominion of death_. And it is here, one way or another, where he will finish his odyssey to return the Infinity Stones.

* * *

_He has arrived_.

The guide waits. Patiently. Curiously. If he still experienced normal human emotions, one could say that he feels anticipation. He does still feel human emotion, though not in the ways he formerly did. His most common emotion is sorrow. For himself in part. And with good reason. His is a lonely and tormented existence. Tormented by what he could have been and could have done. He had been a man of brilliance, charisma, ambition. But above all, pride. And his pride corrupted his other qualities to become hubris. And like the Greeks of myth, his hubris drove him to seek to become one with the gods.

But rather than falling to the earth like Bellerophon, he was granted his wish. He traveled beyond the farthest stars knew of. Even more, he was granted knowledge – true knowledge. Greater than he dreamed. The first thing he learned was who he would be from then on. The lord of Vormir. Ruler over an entire world! But he simultaneously learned what else he was. The guide to the Soul Stone. The slave of the cosmos. The fool of destiny.

He long ago accepted his fate. His sorrow for himself is strictly one of regret. He feels even sorrier for those who came seeking the Stone. Indeed, the greatest emotion he now feels is pity, an emotion he never experienced in his previous life. Admittedly, the feeling is somewhat abstract and not particularly poignant, but it is nevertheless genuine. Because he understands the hubris that brings those here for the Soul Stone. And he knows the fate that awaits them.

Most of the Soul seekers don't know to bring a loved one, but they always sacrifice them if they do. You don't come this far if you are unwilling to make such sacrifices. Others, like the guide himself, love no one and therefore have none to sacrifice. The only thing sacrificed is their ambition to know the power of the Stone. Such frustrated seekers often threaten the guide, believing he has the power to give them the Stone. The guide is neither angered or amused by these pointless threats, simply patient. When the seekers eventually realize the pointlessness of their threats, they either leave defeated or return with a loved one to sacrifice. The most tragic was Luster of Distruno. When told he must sacrifice that which he loved most, he left Vormir and soon after returned with his wife. She was clearly none the wiser until she heard the words of the guide: "You must sacrifice that which you love." Just as the realization became clear on her face her husband pushed her off of the precipice. Luster then turned to the guide waiting for his prize. The guide's only words for him were, "You must sacrifice that which you love." Only then did Luster realize he loved no one, and the only thing he loved he would never possess. He then threw himself from the precipice.

Yet, if those who come seeking the Stone are full of hubris, those who return it are infected by a kind of madness. And they always return the Stone, for this is the home of the Soul Stone. It was for the Soul Stone that Vormir was created, and it will not abide with another for long. The madness begins when they tap into the true power of the Soul Stone. The Stone does not give one power over the elements as the other stones do. In fact, it does not give one power at all. It gives knowledge. Just as the guide obtained true knowledge when he became the Stone's servant, so those who become (temporary) keepers of the Stone gain true knowledge of self.

This knowledge comes in a flash and is typically quite brief. But it's enough to spark the madness. The Stone's power takes the (temporary) keeper's soul to a netherworld bathed in the Stone's orange glow and bereft of everything except the one who they sacrificed to obtain the Soul Stone. The sight of their lost love one and the few words they speak is what truly penetrates the soul and is the ultimate power of the Stone. Once the (temporary) keeper returns from the netherworld, they are forever changed. They see with the greatest clarity who they are and what they gave up to receive a gift they didn't expect or understand. And they cannot escape the barrenness of what they have become. Eventually, no matter how much they resist, they cannot bear it. They must restore what they have lost. And there's only one way to do that: they must return to Vormir. They must make things right.

But they can't. At least, not in the way they hope. They hope returning the Stone will restore their loved one. But to receive the Stone is to make an everlasting exchange. Despite returning the Stone to Vormir – and once it has been returned, it will not leave again with its former keeper – that exchange cannot be revoked. That is, unless the (former) keeper offers their own life instead. Most do. The madness is too much to bear. But a few are unwilling, and for them the madness is broken. Their conscience is no longer rent, and Vormir no longer calls. But if the madness is broken, so is their soul. They become empty shells and die soon after in obscurity. (Only one (temporary) keeper ever thought to destroy the Soul Stone itself. He therefore experienced a strange mix of madness and brokenness. So when his executioners arrived at his door, the now-truly Mad Titan peaceably welcomed his death.)

But this newest visitor is like none who have come before him. For one, he arrived almost immediately after the Stone was taken. It typically takes months if not years for the (temporary) keepers to return to Vormir. But much more importantly, this visitor is the first to not be infected by the madness. In a way, he did seek the power of the Stone even if he was not the one to physically retrieve it. But he did not seek it for power's sake. His mission, and those of his compatriots, was to restore the Stone. And his arrival here is the culmination of that mission. So this encounter will be much different from the others the guide has had with (temporary) keepers.

It's for this reason the guide feels such anticipation. Because along with his existence being a lonely and tormented one, it's also pretty boring. But after all these years, he will finally have a new experience. And of course because the visitor is … _well, you know._

He has finally arrived.

"Welcome Steven, son of Sarah."


	8. Soul-Searching

_No. It .. it can't be. Is this the guise the guide always takes - your greatest nightmare? No, Clint would've mentioned that. What _did_ Clint say about the guide?_

It's funny how memory works. Sometimes, your brain can call to mind the exact memory you need when you need it. Hawkeye's words on the dock come right back to Steve. " … the red floating guide …"

_But … how?! Why?!_

The guide says nothing beyond his initial words of welcome. He just floats there and looks upon his old adversary and newest visitor. And he waits patiently for the response that he knows will eventually come.

Finally, Steve is able to put a few words together. "Red Skull?"

"I was called by that once. You may use that name if you would like, but it means nothing to me now."

This only furthers Steve's confusion. This looks like Red Skull, sounds like him (mostly), and even claims to be him (sort of), but this was not the Red Skull Captain America battled so long ago. Getting past the most obvious difference that Johann Schmidt was a person (kind of) and this is a phantom, the guide before him has none of Schmidt's overwhelming megalomania. Cap is truly at a loss on how to proceed. All he has are the questions bombarding his brain.

"How?" To his own surprise, Cap is more astounded than suspicious. By any standard, he has lived a life of absolute insanity, in which any assumption he ever made about the world—or himself—had been trampled on several times over. Yet, here he stands at 'the very center of celestial existence,' and in front of him stands his greatest nemesis! What good would suspicion and fighting do him?

But despite all that, Red Skull's response _still_ surprises him. "Captain, I suspect you can deduce that answer." Steve doesn't know what answer he expected but he didn't expect that one. He now really sees that this is not Red Skull he once knew and fought long ago. There is nothing Red Skull wants more than the stage. Not just for people to cower at his feet, but even more to look upon him with awe and reverence. And Cap was ready in this moment to be his audience and hear his story. But the guide in front of him is clearly uninterested. And even crazier, he trusts Steve's ability to figure it out on his own. Is the Red Skull demonstrating … _respect?_

So taking the guide's advice, Cap decides to think through what he knows of Vormir and knew of Schmidt and how we would've gotten here and … yes, it all clicks.

"The Tesseract. The Space Stone. It didn't incinerate you back in '45. It banished you. Here."

"Yes. It seems that once again our lives have been parallel. Both of us frozen in time. And with fates not too dissimilar from what Dr. Erskine predicted. Mine of deserved damnation. Yours of righteous tortured heroism. "

The guide's words, though seemingly minor, hit harder than any punch or blast Cap has ever received. He stumbles under the weight of them and sits down on the closest rock he can find.

"I'm sorry, Captain. My desire was not to wound, though it was admittedly my aim. You are different than all who have returned the Soul Stone before you. You have not done the soul-searching that ultimately draws the (temporary) Stone keepers back to Vormir. But such self-discovery is necessary for all who come to return it. Try as you might, you cannot come to yourself again until you first become undone."

There is no malice in the guide's word. Just sorry and finality. His whole life, Steve's greatest fear has been vulnerability. Born with a body that was always a microbe away from death, he always had to guard against all manner of threats. Trust therefore was never a luxury. He couldn't trust his body to survive. He couldn't trust those he loved to stay. His parents, Bucky, Peggy—all taken. He couldn't trust his government, either during the war or after he woke from the ice. Even when he got his best friend back, he had to make sure he wouldn't go rogue. When he found a new team, he had to make sure _they _didn't go rogue. That is, until _he_ went rogue, which made him even less trusting. And then when the greatest threat to the universe came to his world, even the trust he had in himself failed. But through all of it, he knew he had to stay strong. Dr. Erskine gave him physical strength, but he never forgot Erskine's final words—or more accurately, gesture—that his true strength came from within. So he never let himself break. Ever. A tear shed for lost friends and lost loves but nothing more. Until now.

Now, for the first time since his mother died - he cries. Not just shedding tears, like he did when Bucky fell, or when Peggy died, or when Nat didn't come back, or when Tony sacrificed himself, or when Frigga told him to live. This is face-soaked, snot-pouring, body-convulsing, bawled-out crying. Every tear and weep that Captain Rogers had kept trapped inside for so long finally escapes.

But why? Steve tries to analyze his own feelings. The guide's words were clear, so his only way out of these tears is to go through them. His first thought is that he might be experiencing that old Alexander the Great cliché: that he is weeping because there are no more worlds to conquer, or in this case monsters to battle. Red Skull had haunted his dreams while he slept in ice and, even after battling Thanos, still personifies everything he fears and hates. And yet here he is, sullen and humbled. Cap is reminded of Thanos's final moments – broken and stunned as his legions turned to dust, and then simply bowing down as he himself became ash. _All the monsters are defeated. Where does that leave me?_

But no, Steve realizes, that's not it. There will _always _be more monsters. _They'll either come from the skies, or we'll create them ourselves_. _Well, not "we," I've never— _

And then he realizes what it is. It's not that Red Skull represents his fears, but rather that Johann Schmidt represents his pride. Schmidt long epitomized to Steve those who believe their intelligence and "vision" make them deserving of power. But Captain America knows that his purity of heart makes him truly superior to all that. He's a genuine hero, a genuine savior—better than Schmidt, better than Thanos. Better than Iron Man. That he misjudged the heroism of Tony Stark is no new revelation. But, as the blood-stained hands that ended Dr. Zola's life wipe the final tears away, Cap realizes he misjudged his own heroism as well. This Red Skull, the guide of Vormir, sees Captain America for who he truly is or has become—a righteous hero, yes, his aim always to help and never to hurt anybody or rule over anybody. But also a tortured hero, so painfully so, fighting for a victory that can never be won and a pride built on crumbling sand. So now, as he sits before his first and final enemy, Steve Rogers accepts that Captain America is done.

As he goes over this all in his mind, the guide again waits patiently. Watching tortured souls come to terms with who they are is old hat for him. Cap stands up and is about to say something when the guide silences him by raising a red hand from his ghostly cloak. "Our time together is now finished. It is time for what you actually came here to receive." Cap is speechless and confused as the guide, with that hand, performs what has become the most hated gesture in all the known universe. He snaps.

And the world goes black. Or rather, orange.

* * *

He sees what look to be pews, and he is hit by a familiar yearning. He then hears a familiar voice.

"So this is what your soul longs for?"

Steve turns and sees his lost sister. "Nat." He's not really that surprised. He may be beyond surprise at this point.

"Yes. And no."

_No? Oh._ "You're the Soul Stone."

"Yes. But I am also Natasha Romanoff. She gave herself to me, so that another might possess me. So she is now one with me. But as my guide has already told you, this was an exchange unlike any before it. So you are being awarded privileges unlike any ever given."

"Privileges?"

"The one who I become one with is typically quite angry and hurt by the (temporary) keeper. Therefore, their time here is to show them what they have given up to possess me, so that they might be driven mad with regret and despair. But this different. Steve, you couldn't sacrifice someone if your life depended on it. Or even if the whole universe depended on it. And because of my — Natasha's — sacrifice and your service in my return to Vormir, there is no regret or despair to give. So instead, I am willing to give you this." Natasha waves her arm at the surroundings, the orange shadow of a church. "Your greatest desire."

Yes, this is his greatest desire. Or was. To be here, at Peggy's funeral. Not as a pallbearer, not as the one who carries the casket. But as the one who lays in it with her. And here Natasha stands before him, looking exactly as she did that day. For it was here that Steve finally fully trusted her, when she came not as a teammate but as a friend. Not to convince him or manipulate him, but simply to console him. That moment in the church when she hugged him was the closest he ever came to breaking down, and maybe if he had done it then, he wouldn't have to have done it with the Red Skull.

"You've earned this rest, Steve, and you can have it. I don't need to snap a finger. Just ask, and you and Peggy can have that final rest together."

Had he not been all cried out, this would have been the moment. But he has, so it's not. In fact, rather than being overwhelmed by emotions, Steve's mind is so clear that he fully understands what's happening.

"This was the dream once. But I think you know that it's not anymore."

Natasha smiles her sharp but soft, knowing and oh-so-familiar smile. "Yes, I do. But I'm even more glad that you know. Your visit with Frigga made this much easier than it would've been. So tell me: what is the dream now?"

He knows the answer, but he first he must ask the question he has most feared asking.

"Does she want me? And … do I really want her … or just the dream?"

"What you both want most is to try."

However one measures time in this netherworld, several of those measurements pass by before he answers. "Yes, I do."

Natasha's watery eyes smile one last time, and then the orange world disappears.

* * *

**Only one chapter left! Thanks so much to all who have read and commented thus far. The comments are so appreciated, so please keep them coming! Special props to Arrowverse Fan 217, who has commented on multiple chapters. And though I have a general idea on how I want to end this, I would love to hear from y'all about any ideas you may have.**


	9. Home

**So … a lot has happened since the last installment. All that has been 2020 (thus far – it's only June!) caused a much greater delay than I could have ever imagined. It did, however, allow me to revise how I wanted to end this story. And given that, I decided to include an epilogue as well, which I am already working on. So I hope to get that out relatively soon. **

**I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter!**

* * *

Steve had largely gotten used to time travel by now. But traveling from the Soul Stone netherworld in 2014 to Earth in … _when is this?_

Having crammed on time travel movies before their first time heist –_Bruce's advice be damned_ – Steve knows the best way for find out the date and place is to look for a stray newspaper. But as he looks around, his eyes quickly fix on a particular house. Nothing special about it. Off-yellow. Nice porch. Pretty standard for the time.

_The time?_ And he knew. His time. He doesn't know the exact date, but he knows he's back. He made it. And that house is where she is. He knows that too.

His next move is clear, but he hesitates. He has longed for this moment, dreamt about this moment, but until now he's never had to actually live this moment. But now it's here.

He doesn't hesitate long. He's waited long enough. He walks to the door, and right as he is about to knock he can faintly hear a familiar tune coming from the other side. He can't help but smile. This is definitely the right house. And it seems Peggy is home. He knocks. And waits.

* * *

It has become a tradition, sad and even macabre as it may be. On the anniversary of the day Steve crashed Red Skull's bomber into the Arctic Peggy spends the day alone. On the first anniversary in 1946 Peggy obsessively scanned over maps of the Arctic area for any ideas of where Steve may have crashed. The following year Peggy just sat alone and cried. The previous year had been a trying one for her, as she fought to be respected in the postwar SSR and worked covertly to clear Howard Stark's name. Plus, she had seen the toll not letting go of Steve's disappearance had taken on Howard, so looking frantically over maps did not sound appealing. The year after that she tried to let it go altogether and enjoy the time with her new fiancé Daniel. Steve was gone, and Daniel was here. She really could not say Daniel was any less heroic or caring or loving than Steve, so she was sure she was ready to move on. But then the day came, and try as she could she could not block out Steve's final words playing in her ears. Daniel would speak to her, and she would hear nothing. He would ask her a question, and her mind was elsewhere. He finally asked her what the problem was, and she very much didn't want to tell him. But if they were committed to building a life together, she had to let him in. As she told him he did his best to be understanding, he really did. But his eyes could not lie. And his eyes revealed the crack in his heart.

But that is not why they ultimately broke up. Peggy was at least putting in the effort to move on, and Daniel could not fault her for still mourning her first love, as much as it hurt. As long as Peggy was willing to try and move on, Daniel was willing to stand by her. But there was one tradition Peggy could not let go of, because frankly she didn't want to let go of it. Because a promise is a promise. And a date is a date. So every year, a week after the anniversary of Steve's death, Peggy puts on her best dress and goes to the Stork Club for a dance. She never dances herself. There's only one partner who she would dance with on this day. She just orders a drink, listens to the music, and watches others dance, hoping they know the true worth of a dance.

This tradition Peggy has kept every year without fail. And even engaged she couldn't – and wouldn't – bend. She was, however, willing to invite her fiancé into her tradition. Last year, Peggy invited Daniel to go to the Stork Club with her and enjoy a meal, watch people dance, and think of their own future. But she refused to dance herself. And here is where Daniel put his foot down. _He_ was her dance partner. He got that moving on is hard, and the way Captain America died in particular made closure difficult. But asking him to join her on a date while she pines for another man?! Telling him he has to sit and watch others dance while she imagines dancing with a real-life superhero?! It was too much. Daniel demanded she decide: live in the past with a dead hero, or make a future with him. Peggy asked for time, to let her go to the Stork Club alone, think over her decision, and then let him know. And that for Daniel was the final straw. There were no more ultimatums. He told her to enjoy the Stork Club, and despite his deep pain and anger he meant it. And he left. And when the day came, Peggy put on her dress, went to the club, ordered a drink, and wondered whether her whole life would be spent watching others dance.

So here she is again this year – all dressed up and ready to go. Yet, her experience the previous year weighs on her. _Why am I going to a club to mourn a life I never had, while this one passes me by? _She just stands in her living room, not knowing what to do next. Then an idea comes to her, a strange sort of compromise with herself. She decides to play a song she heard at the Stork Club on the first anniversary of her lost date. The lyrics speak to her dreams of a lost love returning, but the sound speaks to her mood of melancholy.

_Never thought that you would be _

_Standing here so close to me _

_There's so much I feel that I should say_

Right as she is beginning to get lost in the song, she hears a knock at her door. She's tempted to let whoever it is go away, but duty is ever calling, and there's no predicting what this could be about. Plus, the distraction comes at an opportune moment. Either whoever's at the door will offer her a reason to not go to the Stork Club this year, or she can make a firm decision on what to do after answering the caller. With that, she heads to the door.

* * *

Peggy opens the door, and standing before her is certainly not anyone she is expecting. It's a woman about her age, with striking red hair, large eyes which are just as striking, and lips that hold the slightest smirk. Something about this visitor reminds Peggy very much of Dottie Underwood, yet she also has an otherworldly, somewhat angelic quality to her. Without meaning to, Peggy takes a step back and adopts a defensively alert posture.

"Hello, Margaret Carter."

"Hello. Do I know you?"

"No. Not really. Not yet. Well, no, not ever." The visitor spoke confusingly yet still quite confidently.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I am here to get an answer to a question someone just asked me concerning you," responded the visitor.

"Someone? Who?"

"Steve Rogers," answered the visitor, rather matter-of-factly and without any warning or hesitation.

"Wha-wha … What are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?!" Maybe Dottie was behind this. Only she would be so obsessive to learn what this day means to Peggy, and so cruel to throw it in her face like this.

"No, Margaret. I'm sorry – Peggy. I know you prefer that sobriquet. And no, I am neither Dottie Underwood nor am I working with her. Though we do share a similar background. Well, the me that is Natasha Romanoff."

The name Natasha Romanoff means nothing to Peggy, but she heard loud and clear that this woman has the same background as Dottie, meaning she's from Leviathan's Red Room. Peggy now takes several steps back and hopes to make it to her coffee table, where there is a pistol hidden underneath.

"Peggy, if I were here to kill you, you would certainly be dead by now. Your defenses were completely down as you listened to this music. I could have killed you five times before you even understood anything had happened. I certainly would not come knocking at your front door."

Peggy finds it hard to argue with that. That doesn't, however, make Natasha's stated reason for being here make any more sense though.

"OK, fair enough. Tell me what you want and why you're here. And please say something that actually makes sense."

"Yes – that last part is going to be difficult. But I will do my best. Right now, Steve Rogers is in the far depths of the universe on the planet Vormir asking me whether you want to be with him."

It would be fair to say that that statement did not pass the "actually makes sense" test, true as it may be.

"Peggy, I think this would go better if we could both take a seat. May I?" Natasha gestures towards Peggy's living room, and if nothing else Peggy is certainly intrigued, though still highly suspicious. Nevertheless, she finally allows her visitor to enter.

_You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you_

_Or just how empty they all seemed without you_

"So you were saying Steve is in outer space?" Peggy does her best to infuse her voice with both the absurdity that such a question deserves and the curiosity that she nonetheless genuinely feels.

"Yes. Steve is on the planet Vormir to return the Soul Stone, which I am glad to say he successfully did. Given that I allowed Steve to commune with me inside what you might consider a mental-spiritual netherworld, and there he asked me whether you want to be with him."

There is absolutely no good way to respond to anything Natasha is saying. Still, Peggy can't help but note that Natasha says that Steve is communing with _her_. If she is from the Red Room, how and why is Steve communing with her on a distant planet?

"So who are you?" Peggy finally asks.

"That is another difficult question to answer. Most fundamentally, I am the Soul Stone." Natasha allows that to sit for moment, but not so long that Peggy has time to ask another question. "Yet I believe your question was about Natasha Romanoff. It would also be correct, if perhaps less accurate, to say that I am Natasha. Natasha was part of a team that included Steve Rogers that was intent on obtaining all of the cosmic Infinity Stones in order to reverse a cataclysmic action by Thanos, an alien from the planet Titan. Natasha and her teammate Clint Barton were tasked with obtaining the Soul Stone. However, this required that one of them give their lives. The two fought over who would have that honor, and Natasha "won" so to speak. So now she is a part of me. And since she is the one most connected to you, I thought it best she be the one to speak to you. She is also the one speaking with Steve. I will now pause, as I know that was a lot to receive at once."

Peggy doesn't know how to take in any of this, so she asks the most pressing and perhaps obvious question. "Why should I believe any of this?"

"A fair question, since all this is admittedly fantastic, particularly from your limited Earthly perspective. If it makes it easier, it is not actually necessary for you to believe me. That was all background information to provide context to the question I asked: do you want to be with Steve Rogers? You don't need to believe my story to answer that question."

_True_, Peggy thought. That was perhaps the best answer Natasha could have given, and it did in fact have the effect of making Peggy believe her story more. Yet, if everything Natasha is saying is in fact true, then there is much more to Steve Rogers than she originally knew. Actually, now that Peggy sifts through all Natasha told her, it isn't the fantastic elements that are the most unbelievable (because honestly, what did she know about aliens and distant planets to be able to decide what's realistic and what's not?), but the more mundane details, relatively speaking.

"You said that you – Natasha – were on a team with Steve. But how is that possible? The whole time he was Captain America he was serving with the SSR and Howling Commandos in Europe. He was part of no other team, and certainly not with anyone from the Red Room." She said the last two word with undisguised venom.

"Yes. Again correct but incomplete. Johann Schmidt's ship will finally be found in 2012 with Captain America frozen aboard and miraculously still alive. (My compliments to Dr. Erskine.) Steve is revived and joins a new team of people with … a particular set of skills. I was on the team, as was Tony Stark, Howard's son. Also Thor, who you might know from what you call "Norse mythology." These and other heroes formed a team called the Avengers.

Together, we stopped an alien invasion that occurred pretty soon after Steve was revived. But Thanos, who was secretly behind the first attack, launched a second one several years later to capture two of the Infinity Stones that were on Earth. If the idea of special space stones sounds far-fetched to you, it may help you to know that one of them is the cube that Red Skull used to make his weapons. Another of the Stones, of course, is me. Thanos used all six stones to wipe out half of all life throughout all known universes, and after that he destroyed the stones, me among them. The Avengers then developed a plan to travel back in time, gather previous versions of the Stones, and restore all the lives lost. However, to gain control of the Soul Stone you have to sacrifice someone you love. Thanos sacrificed his daughter. Natasha sacrificed herself."

If Peggy has any doubts left in her mind, they have been completely subsumed by awe, curiosity, and also familiarity. Everything Natasha is saying is frankly in keeping with the fantastic things Peggy has observed throughout her own life, especially recently. Aliens, Infinity Stones, time travel – _why not?_ But more than that, Natasha talks like the type of people she and Steve fought side by side with during the war. It's not hard to imagine at all that Steve would choose her as a teammate, or vice versa.

"Sounds like you are quite a teammate." Peggy keeps her voice and countenance completely steady, but Natasha understands what Peggy is getting at. She would understand even if she wasn't a cosmic semi-omniscient being.

"Yes, I was. Or am, as I would like to think. But not in the way you are getting at. I would be lying if I said I never considered it, but I already learned the hard way that romantic relationships with teammates don't go so well. Steve was much more like an older brother. But also a younger brother."

Peggy gives a knowing nod. Steve was a person with abnormal maturity and wisdom but also childlike naiveté. Any amateur would-be psychologist could tell you that is the direct result of his former frailty and orphaned upbringing.

"The best thing I can say is that Steve understood me, and I understood him, and that we had a bond that was unlike any I ever had, even with Clint. We both felt like we always had something to prove, but I can say that for me it was deeper. Steve wanted to prove that Dr. Erskine made the right call, that he was the hero with heart. I needed to prove Clint made the right call, and that I could be a hero. We were both warriors who wanted to be more but didn't really know how to be.

As you have noted several times, I was raised in the Red Room. All I knew was to kill and follow orders. But Clint, Nick, the Avengers – they saw something different. They saw a person worth loving. And the only way I knew how to return that love was to sacrifice myself. I know that may sound warped, and I suppose it probably is. But love expresses itself in different ways. I wish I could have known a love that was simpler, easier, but I don't think that was a life I could have ever truly had. So here I am."

"So you were a death seeker then, like Steve?"

"Yes," Natasha answers, again without hesitation or any particular emotion given how loaded the question is.

Natasha's easy response reveals to Peggy that her comment about Steve being a death seeker is more cutting than she realized. But it also forces her to confront the anger that is part of her grief. From the moment she met him, Steve was always running headlong into chances to kill himself. And if she was being honest, it's a major reason she fell in love with him. His thoughtless, instinctive courage to jump on a grenade. His bold initiative in rescuing the 107th when they were miles behind enemy lines and as good as dead. But it also cost him his life, and with that the happy life that maybe they could have had. Or so she thought. Now that appears to be up for grabs.

"But," Natasha continues, "if Steve was still a 'death seeker,' as you put it, I wouldn't be here right now. I offered him the opportunity for a restful death. Or I could have offered him a heroic one if that's what he wanted. But when I asked him what he wanted, he said it was to know if you wanted a life with him. So do you?"

Peggy doesn't know why she keeps dodging this question. But all this is so much. It is one thing to go to a club every year to mourn, but it's another for the cosmos to come to your door to ask you whether you want a life you were sure was lost.

"But why?!" Peggy finally asks. "Why are you here? Why am I the one? If you truly are the 'Soul Stone' who takes lives away from people so that they may have the honor of obtaining you, why come all this way to ask me what I want to do with my life?! Why am I so important?"

"To be honest, Peggy, this isn't really about you. You're right – from my perspective you are quite insignificant. But the Avengers were willing to give everything to restore the Infinity Stones. They didn't do this for my sake or a love for any of the other Stones, but they did it nonetheless. When Steve came to return the Soul Stone, he didn't know whether that would cost him his life, but he did it anyway. You could say that was him 'death seeking' again, but as I said I can give death quite easily if that's what he wanted. But instead, he is asking for life. With you. So for the last time – and believe me, this will be the last time I ask – what do _you_ want?"

Peggy wells up with tears, with so many questions she still wants to ask and so many feelings she has reserved only for solitary moments. But one way or another, those moments are over. She can't pine away for a lost future when it's being offered to her right now.

"I want to love. I want a life of love. With Steve."

"Good. If I am being completely honest, I knew that was going to be your answer this entire time. But my whole purpose for existence is revealing truths, so I couldn't have done this otherwise. And also, you should really answer that."

"Answer wha—," but before she can finish her sentence, Natasha points at the door, where there is immediately a loud knock. Peggy turns towards the door, and when she turns back there is only an empty seat where Natasha once was. Peggy looks back and forth, but finds nothing. All she sees is the silhouette of another visitor at her door.

_So kiss me once, then kiss me twice_

_Then kiss me once again_

Peggy stands up, straightens out her dress, and wipes her eyes. She then walks (again?) to answer the door.

_It's been a long, long time_


	10. Epilogue

He never thought he would come back to this place. It's not a place he really tries to think about often. It reminds him much more of what he lost than what he gained. But he has one last mission to complete. Not that he thinks of himself as Captain America anymore. He hasn't for a very very long time. But you don't need a title to do what's right. So here he is.

Thankfully, a friend is here with him. "I still can't believe you were actually there," Steve says, giving Nat an incredulous look behind his well-worn skin.

"Of course I was there. For one thing, you know for a fact I was there. I was literally in that 'gauntlet' Tony created. But also, how do you think Carol knew to come at that time? None of you – us – even thought to tell her about our time heist. And you think that female team-up just happened on the battlefield out of nowhere? That was all me."

Steve chuckled as he remembered that momentous battle. And yes, as he listened to Nat's words, he does faintly remember that for some reason he felt compelled to hold back from meeting up with Danvers when she first made her epic arrival at that critical moment. Instead, he watched as the women fought together to break through Thanos's massive army.

"Even if my body couldn't be there," Nat said, "I was damn sure there would be a moment when the women got to show out. I never really like to talk about it, but it wasn't always easy being the only female Avenger. Wanda joining helped some, but it was still lonely at times. So as I saw all these women on the battlefield, I knew we needed a moment to shine. Being the Soul Stone does come with some perks."

"Yeah, I guess it does." Steve doesn't say anything else, because he doesn't want Nat to distract him from fulfilling his final mission. (Plus, this is his third time hearing this story. He just enjoys hearing her tell it.) She had already asked him why he needed to come back here and do this, but he knew that she knew the answer to that question. Because again, Soul Stone.

Nat had come back into his life at the moment she knew when he would need her most: when Peggy died. His years with Peggy weren't the fantasy he had nurtured for so long. It was no easy thing to return to a world that had none of the technological or social advances that Steve had grown accustomed to. But that wasn't truly the hard part. It was the decision to live a life on the sidelines. One of the earliest decisions he and Peggy made was that they wouldn't live a life trying to "fix" a history that had yet to be made. On the one hand, time travel is such a weird concept that who's to say whether interfering is truly "interference"? Peggy was meant (maybe?) to marry someone else, but here Steve was. And there's some other timeline where Zola is found dead in 1970. So why not "fix" other things? But as confusing as time travel still was to Steve, he had done and seen enough to know that, as Tony said, any changes in a timeline will cause a pushback and even a punch-back. Fix a mistake here, another arises there. What if fixing the future prevented the social advances that were to come? What if it prevented the birth of the people Steve loved? He may have gotten his do-over, but Steve was determined it would not come at the cost of the lives others were meant to live. It was a tough line to walk, but they chose to walk it. That didn't make it any easier though.

It wasn't easy having to hide from the world and not be Steve Rogers anymore. (He kept the name Steve for ease sake, but took on the surname Thomas after his favorite poet.) It wasn't easy for Peggy to constantly come up with excuses for why her husband couldn't come to this event or that, though Howard was always helpful in that regard. It wasn't easy convincing Howard not to share their secret. (Actually, that was pretty easy. Howard loved knowing something others didn't know, but they could never be sure he wouldn't accidentally slip up and say something. To his credit he never did.) It wasn't easy for Peggy to allow HYDRA to grow under her nose and act oblivious, even though they knew it would cost Howard his life, among many other casualties. Howard and Maria's deaths caused the biggest fight Peggy and Steve ever had, and Peggy went nearly three weeks without talking to him. It wasn't easy for Steve to know Bucky was out there somewhere and to do nothing about it. He carried that burden everyday for the rest of his life.

Still, their life was beautiful. Everything a scrawny nobody from Brooklyn could hope for. It wasn't a fantasy, it was a life. And he loved every moment of it, even the hardest parts.

Having lived through Peggy's death once, doing it twice was especially painful, because he knew he couldn't stop it even if he tried to. Whether coincidental or prophetic, Peggy's health took a notable turn for the worse right around the time Captain America was finally found in the ice. The return of his younger self was in a way pretty opportune, as Peggy no longer remembered him as well in his older form, so even as her mind declined, Peggy was still able to have a piece of the Steve she remembered best. But it also made it that much harder for her to distinguish reality from dementia. And it was in these hardest moments that Steve's old friend started coming around again. At first, she was just an encouraging voice in his head. But after he buggered off from attending Peggy's funeral in London (their kids were well-equipped at this point with making excuses), Nat reappeared in full form. And just like the first time he had to suffer through Peggy's death, Steve had the same question for Nat.

"What are you doing here?"

And she had the same answer. "I didn't want you to be alone."

And as Steve had learned to do on Vormir, he cried. Not an ugly cry, but an unafraid one.

Since then, Nat would show up when needed. She was there when the news reported that Captain America was now a fugitive. She was there right before he turned into dust. She was there soon after Thanos's forces were dusted, bragging about her part in taking them down. And she was there for him when he decided he needed to say hello and goodbye to some old friends.

"Why," he asks without looking at her.

"Why what?" He simply side eyes her without losing his step. An advantage of having a conversation with an omniscient being is not having to spell everything out.

"Because you're a good man, Steve Rogers. And I have never been in any creature's debt."

"But why me? Why not Clint?"

"Aren't you here right now to help Clint?"

_Perhaps_, admits Steve to himself. _In a way, I suppose. _This should alleviate at least one of the ghosts that haunts him, though unfortunately not all of them.

The Soul Stone then turned the question on him. "Shouldn't I ask you why?" Steve side eyes her again, but this time she holds her ground and returns a look that he knows so well, despite the many many years. He relents, because what else is he doing?

"Because I owe a debt as well. I owed two debts. I paid one. I lived a life. To the fullest. Every day I kept Frigga's words with me. 'Live.' And I did. But she had other words that have stayed with me too. About immortality. (He still hears in her voice in his head.) I still really don't know. I know that I'm over 150 years old, and while you can see it on my face, I don't feel it in my body. Just look at this trek we're taking right now. Should someone my age be able to do this? Who knows how much longer I have left. But I'm ready. I lived my life. Now it's time for you to live yours."

And as if on cue they reach their destination.

"Welcome Steven, son of Sarah."

"Hello again."

"I suppose everyone returns, even when there is no madness to draw them back."

"Well, I must admit," Steve says slowly, "there is a beauty to this place that is irresistible."

The guide smiles, a genuine smile. He has not done that since … maybe ever.

"So tell me, if it is not the Stone you seek, why have you returned?"

One thing Steve has come to learn about omniscient beings is that they enjoy asking questions they already know the answers to. He nevertheless responds, "To admit that I was wrong." He then walks over to the precipice, looks over, and turns back to the guide to utter his final words in this life.

"Sometimes, we do trade lives." With that, he effortlessly steps off.

* * *

Natasha Romanoff wakes up in a thin pool of water. There is no stone in her hand. But there is a word blazoned on her mind and on her heart in an all-too-familiar voice.

"Live."

* * *

**I would not have come up with this ending if it wasn't for those who read and commented. So thank you all very much. And thank you to those who will read this later, and please still leave comments. They are all appreciated.**


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